Where My Style Came From
As a young teen, I was dealing with mental illnesses – some of which I didn’t even know I had at the time, trauma, and abuse. I felt so alone and I had no where to turn when I felt hopeless and wanted to give up. This was over a decade ago, when mental illness, trauma and abuse were all still taboo topics so I really had no idea what to do.
After a few years of attempting to navigate all of this on my own, I found a few songs by the band Three Days Grace, that really resonated with me and what I had been experiencing. For the first time, I really felt like I wasn’t the only one going through these things. I actually had something I could relate to. It made me feel like I was okay, and like maybe there wasn’t as much wrong with me as I thought. It might sound cliche but as a 14 year old girl, struggling and alone, music really was my only escape
That band, and their songs were from a genre that I had never been exposed to in my childhood, but finally, I wasn’t alone in what I was feeling, so I needed to find more.
I spent hours upon hours, diving deeper into that world of alternative music and found so many more singers and bands that all played songs about the same feelings I had. Even some heavier metal bands, punk and even screamo bands.
I saw all these people with this colored or dark hair, thick eyeliner, and black lips. They had tattoos, they wore necklaces with spikes, and pants with more zippers than I could count, and I thought they were all so cool! They were different, dark and beautiful. Sort of scary and elegant at the same time. So I did what I know now, so many other people have done…
I dressed like them in the ways I could, I begged my parents to let me color my hair, and get piercings. When they said no, I colored my hair with Sharpies and stained all of my clothes, and pierced my lips and ears with the wrong kind of needles and eventually got infections. I gave myself stick and poke tattoos.
I honestly think if I had been allowed (to a point) to do some sort of compromise some of those things, then I wouldn’t have rebelled so hard.
Unfortunately, the kind of clothes and accessories, and even artwork I could find that represented that style, could only be found at less than a handful of stores, all of which my parents wouldn’t let me shop at.
Luckily, there are a lot more options nowadays. There are so many places that offer more than what’s ‘mainstream‘ or ‘trending’ at the time and that is what I want to be a part of.
Edgy Art For Outcasts 